The Optimist Reviews

I am making reviews of well everything, until ThElderreviews gains it's feet.
I really hope you like my reviews and enjoys them.


Donkey Kong 64 Review

By patzo3000(P.B.D.)

DK 64 is a nintendo 64 game!!


(WHEEEEEEEHA!!! BABY!!!!)

Where oh where to start on this review….. I KNOW!!! Ok so lets start this review with the name of it’s company!!It is none other than Rare. Lets start with Rare’s history shall we?*prepares pillow and coffee*

History of…. RARE!!
Rare is a british (O-O .. British?? Are you as shocked as me?I have nothing against brits but.. Wow,just… wow) found in 1984 (Wow that’s OOOooold!!!) by Tim and Chris Stamper. (O_O…….)


(SAY HI GUYS!!!!)


Rare was then Ashby Computers and Graphics Ltd. They developed games for 8-bit systems ZX Spectrum,Commodore 64 (An inspiration perhaps?) and others. Rare has developed under Nintendo. Rare is located in Twycross, Leicestershire, UK. It has developed many games for Nintendo's gaming consoles, including Battletoads, Donkey Kong Country (and its sequels), Killer Instinct, Banjo-Kazooie (and its sequels, excluding Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts), Blast Corps,GoldenEye 007, Perfect Dark, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Diddy Kong Racing, and Donkey Kong 64 . (Um….Duh?)

Rare is know for their sly adult humor.Like in Banjo Kazooie, in one level while in the air you see…. Well yeah.. Rare also show blood in their E rated games!!

Rare is also know for their high amount of successful games!!In 2002, Rare left Nintendo and went to Microsoft Game Studios.Their games have since been very unsuccessful. (ORLY?)
On January 2 2007, Tim and Chris Stampler left Rare.
Rare currently has 200 employees.

Yawn.. Now lets move on to something that has humor.I haven’t known something with such RARE humor ever. Get it? RARE HUMOR?? HAHAHAHAHAH *Is shot*

Story
DK,Diddy,Lankey,Tiny,and Chunkey are enjoying their lives on DK Island when some annoying parrot named Squawk informs you that you precious horde of bananas have been taken!(OH NOEZS!!! ) King K. Rool is behind this atrocity.King K. Rool’s ship that looks like him(egotistic son of a …)has malfunctioned and is stuck RIGHT IN FRONT OF DK ISLAND!!!!!!!!!!!(OH NOEZ AGAIN!!!! O)K. Rool has forced his dimwit minions to make a machine that will take out DK Island!The Kongs must use the help of Snide and K. Lumsy(HAHAH *Is Shot*)to stop K. Rool and his evilness.But first Donkey Kong must free all his friends!!

Gameplay
Gameplay is very fluid and dosnt really f up.(Unless you use an emulater)Its fast paced and very easy.You are not feeling slide like or sticky.It works perfectly!!Especially since its a platformer!!

Controls
Control Stick: use to move character
A: jump (hold to jump higher)
B: use attacks
Z: crouch, use analog stick to rotate
R: center camera behind character (hold to lock camera into a fixed position)
Left C Button: rotate camera left
Right C Button: rotate camera right
Top C Button: view game through character's eyes
Bottom C Button: toggle between two levels of zoom
Start: pause game, bring up status screen

Simple!!!

Tips and Tricks
How to get to the Robotic Fish the easy way not the hard way.

When you start the timer jump of the lighthouse and go into the water to the cave. Then go to where the fish is and there he is. That's why they give you 90 seconds to get there instead of using pad 5.

Getting Around the Gate Before Cart Race.

To do this you don' need to start the convarer belts and run up them in a certain time. Just run up the non-moving belts and once you get to the gate, jump one at an angle (off the ledge) toward the gate, then once back to the cart. You should be able to make it after a few tries.

Before you go on to another level, be sure to finish the first one with every kong you have. Here's a level checklist you can use for every level:
[] Return Snide's blueprint
[] Get a Banana Medal
[] Get all five Golden Bananas

And here's one you can use for an entire family of kongs each level:
[] Return 5 of Snide's blueprints
[] Get five Banana Medals
[] Get all twenty-five Golden Bananas
[] Defeat the boss
[] Win the Battle Crown
[] Snap the two Banana Fairies

And for an all kong end of the game check:
[] Have all twenty Banana Fairy pictures
[] Have all ten Battle Crowns
[] Have all two-hundred-one Golden Bananas
[] Have all fourty Banana Medals
[] Have all fourty of Snide's blueprints
[] Have the Nintendo and Rareware Coins

Frantic Factory Boss: Mad Jack

Okay, you have to do this as Tiny Kong; also, make sure that you have her Pony Tail Whirl (A+A) from Cranky - you won't be able to do this without that attack.

To beat him:
- keep avoiding Mad Jack by using the Pony Tail Whirl (A+A) to jump from platform to platform
- once he stops, 2 Switches will appear - go Slam (A+Z) the one that's on the same colour as Mad Jack (white or blue), if it's the wrong one, you will get hurt; also, if Mad Jack's about to hit you, jump off the platforms and fall down, you only lose health if you get hit by him, not if you jump off
- hit Mad Jack 5 times with the Switches to defeat him (after 2 hits, the Switches won't light up, so they'll be harder to find; after 3 hits, he'll start shooting lasers at you, which are difficult to avoid; after 4 hits, he'll go invisible, but you'll still be able to see his shadow)

Good Luck - you can do it

Ok I found this out when I was playn the game.You know where the final key is,in the room that you need both coins to get in?Well you don't need to have the coins to get the fairy all you do is stand at a place you can see it through the glass window and take a picture of it through the glass.It'll count it but, if you want to get the key you'll need the two coins to get it though.

Keep on going though every DK Star before you run out of time.You have to repeat this 4 times without losing all of your heath.

Music
The music is very simple and elegant(Stops me from shocking myself on the laptop.)It calms you down and fits perfectly.It really brings you into the moments.But it can be repetitive.It also can make you a bit depressed.

Graphics
Very simple.It can look very weird when it rains thouh.It is very simple graphpic but it complements the game in almost every way!!!It is really beautiful to look at sometimes... Until it glitches on ya.

Hardness
IT IS REALLY DIFFICULT!!!! PARENTS YOU BETTER HELP YOUR KIDS!!!
Sometimes the mini-games this game has can frustrate you and make you want to punch your self!!!!

Special Stuff
This game has a part in which you need to play the Original Donkey Kong Arcade Game for a Nintendo coin and a RareWare coin.You will need to have both in order to attain 101% status.(That in just a sec.Stop nagging me!! *is shot*)

There are many references.These are usually about other Rare games.Mostly Banjo Kazooie!

101% status is when you obtain all BattleCrowns,Blueprints,Bananas(OOOOoOOo BANANA!!! :p) and Golden Bananas!You need all 201 bananas!!I wont tell ya where to find them.101% is very frustrating to obtain and most people don’t bother.(I didn’t. *is shot*)

There is a lot of adult humor that will fly past little Tommy and have you on the ground LOLing!!(LOL! Instruments

! XD)
OVERALL
This game is just purely sweesome!!!It may frustrate you but you wont care much because your having to much fun.The music makes you hum.The game will last for about a half year to a year or more!! The graphics are nice and doesn’t make your eyes hurt!
This game is just beautifully made!!

Story:10/10
Graphics:10/10
Music:10/10
Gameplay10/10
DK Rap:10/10 :p

OVERALL:TEN OUT OF TEN!!

Next: The "fanfilm", Return of the ghostbusters.