Starwars: The Marksmen of the Sand

Chapter One

Mos Eisley...a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Of course, you already know that since that damn phrase has been overused so many times. Anyways, this was a normal typical day in Tatooine. A wonderful 120 degrees Fahrenheit outside while the twin suns laugh. Ugly creatures and aliens walking about. Music is constantly blaring out of that Cantina, preferably by those of the Modal Nodes. Mysterious bounty hunters roam the streets, obviously not working for one Jabba the fat Hut. It was a normal day.

Fast forward four hours ahead, and it was still pretty hot. The spaceport was still full of ugly inhabitants. That band has continuously played that jazzy musical number for this entire duration now. All still pretty normal, unless you want to count those Imperial Stormtroopers patrolling the passageways. Yes, there were quite a few of them. Checkpoints here, checkpoints there. Something about droids and crazy superstation plans, but never mind the purpose that they are doing here. However, a typical conversation between these Imperial troopers would go something like this.

Stormtrooper 1: It is unbelievably hot here. Dear god!
Stormtrooper 2: *Chuckles* Looks like someone should have took more time to prepare himself for deployment.
Stormtrooper 1: Like what was going to help me prepare for this blasted immolation?
Stormtrooper 2: Had one like you done your homework, you would have immediately recognize Tatooine to be a desert planet, therefore you would have donned yourself with standard issued Imperial Sandtrooper Mark I armor, now featuring colored pauldrons.
Stormtrooper 1: Curses to your pauldrons-
Stormtrooper 2: Also, it's built with internal body coolers, so it's a breeze in here!
Stormtrooper 1: *Spits* Blah! You tasting sand too?
Stormtrooper 2: Nope. Regulated standard issued Sandtrooper armor comes with filters.
[enters Stormtrooper 3]
Stormtrooper 3: Hey idiot, stop your complaining!
[both Stormtrooper 1 & 2 backs off in awe]
Stormtrooper 3: Yeah, you think you have it bad? My bunker-mate "borrowed" my Sandtrooper armor, while my regular suit was at the cleaners! Now I'm stuck with this stupid Cold climate-oriented armor. And what's worst is that I'm wearing a skirt!
Stormtrooper 2: Wow. Hey! I heard that that armor has a built in thermometer. What's the temperature outside?
Stormtrooper 3: Hold on a second... It is currently 163 degrees Fahrenheit, but don't take my word for it. The thermometer could be off since my heating unit is stuck on.
Stormtrooper 1: Dude.

And…lets zoom out. From where the Stormtroopers were standing, go about fifteen meters up and some four hundred meters to the right. There, you should hopefully see a tall, slender, mud brick building. Yes, pretty much every building in that direction is made of mud, brick, or something-adobe-something, but just pretend one of those buildings is the one I’m talking about. Anywho, take a stare at the windows, and you’d notice that all the blinds on the third floor are closed. Actually, the correct term is barely open. Look closer and you’ll notice three friendly black barrels creeping out of those shades.

Un-introduced Female Character: So which one do you want?
Male Protagonist #1: I’ll take the one in the skirt. Girly Stormtrooper, prepare to die.
Un-introduced Female Character: Fine, I’ll take the one with that silly shoulder pad.
Comic Relief Character: Aww. No fair. I get the normal one. Stupid normal Stormtrooper, why can’t you wear a dress? That would make my kill a lot more interesting.
Male Protagonist #1: Shut up. You’re lucky we’re even letting you get a shot.
Un-introduced Female Character: Oh yeah, right after the massive friendly fire incident, you couldn’t be let near a blaster for months.
Comic Relief Character: AHAHAHAHA funny guys.
Male Protagonist #1: Whatever. So when to we fire?
Un-introduced Female Character: When Sarge gives us the signal.
Male Protagonist #1: So when is the signa-
Un-introduced Female Character: He said we’ll know when it happens.
Comic Relief Character: Great.
Un-introduced Female Character: So what are you two going for?
Male Protagonist #1: Crotch.
Comic Relief Character: Groin.
Un-introduced Female Character: Oh how the headshots fallen out of favor…

Let us go back to the three Stormtroopers. Well, forget about them and look further twenty meters ahead. Here you would find the Sergeant and his motley crew of six outlandish smugglers. The Sergeant was a human from Corellia (original right?). His right hand man was actually a Sullustan, which puzzled many since Sergeant didn’t understand a lick of word on what “Toffee-face” said. There was another man, Corporal First Grade Dylan Lacer of the Alliance SpecForce Combat Engineers. Oh yeah, the remaining four are a Wookie, Mon Calamari, Bothan, and Rodian, but since they are unimportant and will probably die, I’ll cut down on their detailed description. That’s what they get for being supporting characters; probable death.

Dylan: Sarge, I don’t think we should do this.
Sarge: What? Killing imperials? Remember son. The only good imperial is one that's dead.
Dylan: I think you mean red sir. Anyways, Alliance HQ is depending on us for this shipment of SG-4s.
Sarge: And they’ll get them...right after a quick duck shoot. Everybody take aim!

Either they were aiming from behind a garbage can, a low wall, or peeking out of a door, they all zeroed in on the Imperials. Oh look, a new arrival of Sandtroopers have just arrived, conveniently in front of the Sergeant’s squad.

Sarge: Dylan, now!

Dylan reached down to his belt and took out a thermal detonator. He activated the arming mechanism and lobbed it to Sarge, which in turn heaved it into the air. Boom.

Nice Story Canter.

LULZ.Stormtroopers are so funny.

Stormtrooper 1: What was that?

Blaster fire erupted in the opening and Stormtroopers immediately fell by the numbers.

Sarge: Take that you ugly bums! Ahah DIE!

Oh yeah, let’s go back to our snipers shall we? Well, the chick’s named, oh I don’t know. Let’s call her Clemme. Might as well give the other two dudes some names too I guess. Makaili and Jancers. Right. So they just saw the thermal detonator go off, which is obviously (if you haven’t figured out yet) the “signal”.

Makaili: Wow look at him grab his groin.
Jancers: Oh man. That had to hurt.
Clemme: You boys and your crotch shots…

Silence. The remaining Stormtroopers fled into the streets.

Jancers: Well that’s the high point of our day…
Clemme: Shut up for a second. [Speaks into com-link] Come in Sarge. Sarge, do you read me? Complete success on our front. What are the next orders-? Wait hello?
Jancers: Is the transmission getting though?
Clemme: Wait. I think- Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Nah it’s not working.
Makaili: [Speaks into com-link]Sarge do you read me. Sergeant? Sergeant? Sergeant? SARGE? SERGEANT?
Clemme: Shut up Maki, saying it louder isn’t going to fix the transmission. We’re being jammed. [points finger up at the sky]
Jancers: Holy crap. Star Destroyer has just entered visual. I repeat. Star Destro-
Clemme: I’m not blind, and I’m not deaf alright?
Makaili: So let’s get back to our transport then?
Clemme: Absolutely.

Drunkards, loiterers, and really odd aliens. None of them. Upon the first blaster shot to the last one fired, they all ran away. Nothing to see here folks, just a usual slaying of Imperial troops. Move right along. Of course, the Stormtroopers (those who made it out alive) radio-contacted their command center, which responded to the ambush by sending in an Imperial Star Destroyer. Hello Mr. Star Destroyer.

Sarge: YaHOOO! Look at them flee! Take that you damn Imperials! Hey Toffee-face, get me audio with our snipers will ya?
Sixti-Nien: Oha bluglagochalemechar!
Sarge: Didn’t you hear me Toffee-face? A.u.d.i.o c.o.n.t.a.c.t with the dadgum snipers!
Sixti-Nien: Oha bluglagochalemechar!
Sarge: Boy what did I do to get on your bad side?
Dylan: Sarge, he’s saying “Holy demons, a freaking Star Destroyer!”
Sarge: Is that right?
[The Sergeant looks upwards]
Sarge: Oh crap.
Dylan: Alright I’ll try and retrieve our snipers. [Radios the sniper team] Clemme, come in Clemme. All units should return back to Space Dock 14 within the next…
Sarge: Ten.
Dylan: Ten minutes. I repeat, rendezvous at Space Dock 14. Imperial Destroyer is inbound. We got to get the (explicit) out of here. Is this even getting through?
Sixti-Nien: Buchana knokiewan?
Dylan: Damn it. Signal strength is faltering.
Sarge: Alright boys. No time to waste. All feet on the move now!
Dylan: But Sarge, we haven’t confirmed that Clemme and the rest have received our bailing the (explicit) out of here plan.
Sarge: We ain’t got time to spare, son. Get to the transport, along with our goods. We’ll wait a few more minutes at the dock. If they haven’t shown up by then...well. We’ll send a team to pick them up later.
Dylan: You’re just going to abandon them?
Sarge: SG-4s are our priorities. It’s not every day that you can find them this cheap on the black market. Now get up, and MOVE.

Those are some funny Storm troopers.

ROFL.

Sixti-Nien.

Awesome story Canter. I like the different way of writing that you used for this one.

Thanks. I based it off a play-script format. A lot of things are implied, but aren't directly mentioned so i figure it might be confusing.


Chapter Two

Makaili: What did I ever do to deserve this?
Clemme: You know, we would probably have gotten to the shuttle in time if somebody didn’t have to use the bathroom.
Jancers: Oh come on! You can’t expect me to run on a full tank.
Makaili: Note to self, find myself a new (explicit)ing spotter.
Clemme: Alright, shut up you two. We’ve only been here for like what?
Makaili: Three days...
Clemme: Yeah. Three days. Any minute now their probably going to send in a Nebulon-B and bust us out of this rock.
[The three snipers looks up at the sky, only to see another Imperial Star Destroyer pull out of hyperspace.]
Jancers: That’s not a Nebulon-B. You lied to me…
Clemme: Alright, that’s enough. You two stay here and guard the perimeter. I’m gonna do another round of recon.
[Clemme takes off]
Jancers: We have a perimeter?

Please take note that their “perimeter” consisted of an overturned garbage can, a pile of rubbish, a dilapidated building, and something that’s dead, but I’m not even sure what it is.

~Two hours later~

Jancers: Well welcome back m’lady.
Makaili: I know why it took you so long. Girl problems right?
Clemme: I just added twenty-four more to my kill list. Want to make it twenty-six?
Jancers & Makaili: No ma’am.

~One Day Later~

Clemme: Hmm, something’s up. I find these Stormtroopers too easy to kill.
Makaili: You’re right. Even Jancers here scored a kill this morning.
Jancers: It was legitimate!
Clemme: They're just standing out in the open. Always. And in the same location too.
Makaili: Shouldn’t they have at least begun to do a crackdown on us?
Clemme: I don’t know, but be on the lookout...

Stormtroopers; highly trained through rigorous academies. Feared all along the galaxy, and are loyal only to the Emperor. Still, they can’t shoot worth a (explicit) when in the clutch. Up above the desert sky, a shuttle undocks from an orbiting Star Destroyer, and flies towards Mos Eisley. At the port, where the shuttle landed, columns of Stormtroopers and Imperial personal lined up facing forward, and awaiting someone’s arrival.

Out retracted the landing ramp and out strolled a man of tall stature. Clad with black armor and those cool sunglasses, he hanged a modified E-11s Rifle behind his back. He walked past the ranks, inspecting each solider. A veteran of the Clone Wars, and one of the better shots in The Galaxy, his name was Zieck, and he was an officer of the Imperial Army.

Very nice. MOAR!!!